Terrible day today, another one among many.  Got my taxes done and have been praying that I would get enough of a refund to cover my property taxes that are due now.  Nope, not even half as much as I owe and I have no idea what I'm going to do.  Also the electrician, a very sweet guy, brought a plumber out today and more bad news, he thinks the pump ( that I just paid for less than a year ago) is going to go and that I need an expansion tank as well  :(        I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach, I don't know what to do.  I've been trying for months to find a full time job, I have no money for food half the time and now make "too much" to qualify for snap benefits.   I feel so desperate and hopeless and have no one to talk things through with.  I feel like I want to scream and pull my hair out and yet on the outside I am frozen.  I've been sitting here feeling catatonic or something like it.  What am I supposed to do?

Not a good day, been sick with a stomach bug for last twenty four hours and the cramps were awful.  Not sure if it's actually a bug or if it was something I ate but whatever I ended up taking the day off from work.  I hate doing that but there was no point in going in and being married to a toilet.  Still haven't found any good leads on a job and getting more and more discouraged.  My granddaughter is four now and Amanda will be 27 in just days.  Amazing to me how can I have a 27 year old daughter?  I am awful proud of both my kids, willing to work crazy hours to support themselves and Amanda is an amazing mom to her little girl.